Girls Taking Charge
- Kane Ryan
- Jul 9
- 14 min read
There’s a saying in India, “When you have a daughter, you are watering someone else’s garden.”
They are born to mothers who wished for a son. There won't be any fanfare or congratulations on the day of their birth. Their mother is seen as having failed in her task to produce a son, and the family would be poorer because of it.
While this still holds true, there are some changes taking place allowing a spark of hope for the many girls in the community who value acquiring an education. Some of them can see through the thicket of traditional expectations, including arranged marriage and dashed dreams, that come from living in poverty abetted by caste. They are more modern than their mother and addicted to social media, where they see what is possible and impossible. They’ve adopted more modern expectations of their future, one where they are armed with a college degree or a skill and hopes for a career or a job that their illiterate mothers were denied. There are other girls who’ve managed to find work in factories nearby and are stalling traditional expectations of early arranged marriages. Some of these young women survive a childhood rife with dysfunction caused by abusive family members, while others are heaped with love and pushed to study regardless of the financial burden to their family. Throughout their lives, they'll continue to encounter the roadblocks of caste, gender, and the wall of tradition that dictates their place in Indian social hierarchy, but I also see hope for them to boldly ask for and retain a future of better possibilities.
Here’s an update on a few of the impressive young women. Your donations to their school fees throughout their lives have allowed them to achieve what their mother's couldn't imagine.
Ashwini
Kane met nine-year-old Ashwini in 2009 when he was helping the community carve a play space out of a garbage dump. She wandered over to him from her perch on the pipeline with her two year old cousin Bhoomi on her hip. He remembers her mane of thick unruly hair barely contained in an elastic band and her extra large smile. They were living in a room atop the pipeline with both of their mothers and an aunt and her three sons. Ashwini's mother suffers from chronic illnesses brought on by drowning her substantial sorrows with cheap alcohol, poverty, a string of abusive relationships, and the weight of bereavement brought on by the death of her only son. Ashwini was unloved, unwanted and physically abused by the people she considered as family, but she was seen as necessary to the running of the household. Within a few years, she was running away from the family abuse with her mother until she was located at a nearby cafe where her mother had found work and a place for them to sleep. Her survival depended on her removal from the community and her weak mother into a kind but stern girls’ home operated by nuns in a nearby community. It was there that she found friendships, for the first time she was placed in school, and she learned expectations of civility while contributing to the daily cleaning of the cavernous space that was home to sixteen girls. Ashwini didn’t excel in school nor like it very much, in part because she was embarrassed to be placed in classes with much younger girls. During her time in the nun’s care, her mother was made to contribute a small amount of money each month for her necessities and was encouraged to visit Ashwini. In 2016, Ashwini was devastated to receive the news that nine-year-old Bhoomi had died of electrocution one night when plugging in a fan. She turned 25 years old this May and has carved out an independent life for herself. She has a job making jewelry in a nearby factory, and has established a reasonable relationship with her mother who works as a street sweeper. They live together in a room in another community, and together manage to pay their rent, their phone bills, and to buy enough food to get by each month. Ashwini has good friends, is proud of herself, and because her life has not been one lived within the traditions of a typical Hindu home, she is removed from the tradition of an arranged marriage and can work to sustain her own life. We’ve helped Ashwini and her mother over the years with food rations, rent money, and medical aid, and contributed funds to the nun's home for her care. It’s been a few years now since Ashwini has asked for our help. This is a monumental shift in her ability to care for herself.
Sneha
She is a frail boned, tiny beauty with the most delicate voice and a love of studying. In 2009, Sneha was the first child in the community to have her school fees paid from donations to DWP which kickstarted our mandate to pay fees for many other children through the years. Her mother is the sole provider for her two daughters, her son, and her husband, who’s rarely contributed more than a few rupees to the household. Sneha, who’s now twenty years old, is determined to achieve a college degree to relieve her mother of the burden of her seven-day-a-week, twelve-hour a-day job as a domestic servant. Throughout the years we’ve known this family we have seen a complete dedication to the family unit despite the father’s illness, alcoholism, and chronic laziness. They’ve lived through the demolition of their home at least twice and endured constant moving to find a suitable room elsewhere, but the constant theme in this family is the abounding love and concern that Reeta has for her children to succeed in jobs that will help her to provide the family food and shelter. While her brother flails similarly to his father, her sister Nikita has found a job she likes and speaks of plans to train for a better job. Sneha is dedicated to her college classes, where she’ll eventually graduate with a degree that would lead to a job as a lab technician. We’ve given this family much financial assistance when needed over the years including paying Sneha’s school fees from kindergarten to the present day, but none of the help we’ve given for rations, rent, or medical issues has come close to the thrill of watching Sneha succeed in college.
Suman
Suman was carrying her little brother on her hip and peeking in at the women in the sewing centre when I first met her. She was about nine years old then, and as with many of the children in the community, she was caring for her younger sibling while her mother worked. We became involved with her family during the major demolition of a large portion of the slum where her family lived. Her mother works seven days a week as a domestic helper, and it is for this reason that she respects her daughter’s ambitions, while dutifully resigning herself to the fate of her arranged marriage to a man who chooses to ignore his responsibilities to his family. This is the example of marriage that Suman and her friend Mouni don’t wish to endure. A few years ago, during a meal prepared for us by Mouni’s mother in their one room family home, Suman and Mouni, dressed modestly yet modern as compared to their sari-clad mothers, bravely discussed their future. They told us and their concerned mothers that they would, despite the threat of arranged marriages, complete their college courses and find work in their field of interest. Suman’s goal is to be an on air reporter and Mouni’s plan is to be a dedicated teacher. The discussion began in earnest when Mouni’s father stepped outside into the lane to talk on the phone to arrange a marriage for his daughter with an interested family in another state. Mouni watched her father pace in the lane and then showed us a photo of the young man her father was actively seeking for her to marry. When he finished his call and joined us again he told us that he was ill and was worried that his illness would eventually keep him from working at his job as a skilled die-maker. He looked down at his hands and explained that if he couldn't work, or if his illness causes his death, then her ranking in the marriage matchmaking lottery would fall considerably because the family wouldn’t be able to afford a hefty dowry. His decision to arrange an imminent marriage for Mouni was born of love and wanting financial stability for his daughter. Undeterred by the news of a possible match for Mouni, Suman and Mouni continued to talk about how they saw their futures much differently than their traditional, illiterate mothers, who continued to listen wide-eyed and intently to the incredulous dreams of their daughters. Mouni’s family moved out of the community last year, and we’ve heard that her father has arranged her marriage. She recently attained her teaching degree. Suman graduated college last month and is looking for a job that will relieve her exhausted mother of the family’s financial burdens. Her mother is not looking for a marriage match for Suman.
Samiksha
Samiksha is Sneha’s cousin. Her ambitions are large, and her confidence in her own abilities is admirable and justified. She was named Student of the Year in her last year at Nandchhaya school, an honour that has buoyed her confidence in her college classes. Her very traditional tight-knit family consisting of her mother, her father, and her younger brother, are supportive of her drive to achieve excellent grades and eventually get a job that would help the family. They attended every school event, cheering their daughter on with such immense pride that it brought on actual tears of joy for her academic achievements. Her most coveted goal was to become a pilot in the Indian army. It was a bold, competitive choice and represents her absolute confidence in herself. This path has been stymied by her diminutive height and weight, which didn’t meet the physical requirements of that job. Samiksha is a dutiful, loving, and respectful daughter, aware of her academic abilities achieved while living within the traditional way of life her parents have struggled to provide for her and her brother, but she’s also determined to complete her degree and find a job to match the energy she’s put in to achieve excellent grades. She sees a different path forward than her mother has known but also knows that her future will include an arranged marriage and caring for a husband and future children with all the Hindu customs and expectations. She’ll complete her degree and her parents have stated that they will allow her to work in a career for some time before they start to arrange a marriage. Our hope is that Samiksha’s future in-laws and husband will allow her to work in her chosen career.
Noorsaba
She is beautiful example of when parents acquiesce to our pleas for their daughter to attend school. Noorsaba is the fourth in line of six children in her family. Her three brothers and two sisters briefly attended free government schools. None of them completed their schooling, in part because of their traditional family structure common in many families in the community. Boys are to start work as early as possible to contribute wages to the family, and girls are slotted in for early arranged marriage. Noorsaba is the first in her family to complete the 10th standard and is due to start college in July in the state of Bihar. This achievement is all the more valuable and compelling because at age 11 she was sent to her father’s native village in Bihar (one of India’s poorest and most populous states) to care for her grandmother. Her parents understand the value in her education and have allowed her to continue her schooling in a small city not far from the village. She rises every morning at five, bathes fully clothed in an outdoor area surrounded by walls just tall enough to avoid prying eyes, dresses in her school uniform, walks down the road to her hour long morning tuition class, returns to her home, makes tea and breakfast for her grandmother, readies herself for school and rides her bicycle about five kilometres to her English medium school. Lugging her school books in a backpack, she rides back to her village in time for her afternoon tuition class after which she’ll make her grandmother dinner and finally settle in to study. In July she’ll head to college in Madhubani, a small city about a thirty-minute rickshaw ride northeast of her village. Her parents will eventually arrange a marriage for her, as they have done for her sisters and her older brother, but she will find meaningful work for a time, and then I suspect she will use her completed college degree to work as a tutor for younger students in her village while searching for books to read and museums to put on her wish list.
Megha
Megha is one of the lucky ones. Her traditional, loving parents support her desire for an education. Their pride in her academic achievements and future goals is on full display when we visit their home and they fan out her her report cards and show us her projects. She is the rare, wished for daughter, once her parents had produced two healthy sons. Their treasured sons will eventually bring home wives to relieve their mother of her daily chores, plus two marriage dowries that will help to alleviate the family financial stresses, while she will cost them a dowry. Her parents continue to support her right to an education and have said they will allow her to have a career before they arrange a marriage for her. Her family life has been largely free of the stresses that many families experience here, albeit they struggle financially. Their home life is one of love and mutual respect, grounded in their respective faith in their Hindu beliefs. This has allowed Megha to thrive in every area of her life despite the demolition of her home in the community, a move to a Slum Rehabilitation (SRA) community far from her friends, starting over in a new school as a child, and outside influences experienced while living in a community where there are struggles with basic living necessities, ill health and abuse. When it comes time to marry, her parents won't be satisfied until they find a perfect match for her with in-laws who will love and protect her, and a husband who will respect her. They've been saving for her dowry since she was born, knowing that this will benefit their search for a good family for their daughter to marry into. Along with supporting her education, and protecting her from outside influences, Megha's mother has been teaching her to cook, and to run a household, including budgeting their meagre finances earned from her father's delivery business, which is all part of the preparation for her eventual marriage. Having just completed her BA degree this year, she is enrolled in a Master's program, and the thought of marriage is far away for both Megha and her parents. Throughout the years, we've been called upon to help support Mehga's school fees, and have been financially supportive through her college degree when necessary.
These ambitious, idealistic young women might not escape the will of their parents and the weight of tradition when it comes time for an arranged marriage, but, unlike their parents, they've become literate and they have an understanding of the larger world around them because of their education and their social media skills. Their children will have more opportunities because of their education. They understand that, although their religion cloaks them in centuries of tradition that hold them in a vice grip of cultural expectations, they have become enlightened and are armed with unforgettable knowledge and expectations of their own.
During a recent visit with Noorsaba in her village, she asked us to take her and her cousins to the small city of Darbanga, to tour the one and only museum. She’s never been to a museum but had heard about it. Once there, she was mesmerized by the antiquities in dusty cases lining a string of rooms in a large municipal building. She walked slowly through the rooms, running her hand along the showcases, pressing her face on the glass, intrigued to read aloud each and every description about the displays. Once back in the car we’d hired to take us all there, she remarked, “I want to learn something everyday. It’s important for me to always be learning about something.”
Every one of these girls and their families has benefitted from your donations. Noorsaba, Samiksha and Sneha have had their full fees paid from kindergarten through to college. Suman and her family have been helped with intermittent school fees and rent money for the past 17 years. Ashwini has been helped with essential needs along the way. They wouldn’t have been able to continue in school if it weren’t for the financial help that so many of you have provided. Their struggles to gain respect and fulfillment will be hard fought and they are immensely grateful to everyone who’ve helped them push the boulder up the hill.
Here's a look at what your donations have paid for from November 2024 to June 2025:
School Fees:
Vali Chhaganlal Laljibhai College of Commerce and Valia Lilavantiben Chhaganlal College of Arts
-Sneha Wankhede Kailash Reeta: 12,000 rupees (partial college fee payment 2024)
-Sneha Wankhede Kailash Reeta: 34,150 rupees (full college fee 2025-26)
Tolani College of Commerce
-Kushi Gagan Singh: 10,659 rupees
Nandchhaya English Medium School
-Aagya Bind: 10,400 rupees
-Aayra Bind: 19,350 rupees
-Mubishira Salim Shaikh: 14,300 rupees
-Ganesh Kamble: 91,00 rupees
-Shaikh Mohammad Hamza Abdul Razek: 12,000 rupees
-Daniel Shaikh: 10,000 rupees
-Shaikh Madhia Mohd. Kalim: 17,750 rupees
-Khan Ata: 10,000 rupees
-Shaikh Aliya Toufiq: 10,000 rupees
-Shaikh Tauhid Fakruddin : 11,850 rupees
-Choudari Sumeet Shiva : 7950 rupees
-Shaikh Eiram Toufiq: 15,150 rupees
Shivam Vidya Mandir English Medium School
-Ankita Mane: 7000 rupees
Parag College of Commerce and Science
-Aarya Mane (Parag College of Commerce and Science): 25,450 rupees
St Joseph’s High School Vikhroli West
-Mohammed Noraiz Shaikh: 5400 rupees
Pereirawadi Education Society’s Theresa Primary School
-Mohammed Noraiz Siraj Shaikh: 5700 rupees
Abhisheks Academy:
-Karan Badar/ half college fees: 3000 rupees
Anjuman Shan-E-Islam Urdu High School
-Alina Imran Hashmi: 3600 rupees
Shree Katyayani Baneshwar Vidhyalaya/Canacona, Goa
-Anushree Lamani: 7800 rupees
Miscellaneous/Tuition supplies/school books/birthday gifts/rations/rickshaw fees:
-school/art supplies (Bookworm Educational Hub): 459 rupees
-Haiko Supermarket (Chocolate for kids tuition): 520 rupees
-Dev Stationary/badminton rackets/shuttlecocks/balls: 1920 rupees
-DMart/Plates/chips/candy: 330 rupees
-Jyoti's food stall purchase snacks for 10 children: 200 rupees
-Haiko Supermarket/chocolate for tuition children: 200 rupees
-Jyoti Supplies for her food cart: 490 rupees
-gave 10,000 rupees cash to family (related to Sakina) for the transportation of a deceased body back to their village.
-Dinner at Shiv Sagar restaurant for Suman's birthday with her mother Nirmala (bday gift and food): 3500 rupees
-Janta Bakery/birthday cake/: 540 rupees
-celebration for Indu/Akhilesh birthday with 41 children attending
-chips/choc candy: 350 rupees
-paper plates: 60 rupees
-tea set gift (Indu): 245 rupees
-2/1 kg cakes ordered from Shoba (girl from the community): 1700 rupees
kites (40) for kite festival: 800 rupees
rickshaw fees for patients to get to medical appointments: 2313 rupees
Karan Badar family help:
-LOAN for moving/house deposit: 10,000 rupees cash (repayment to come)
-school books: 2000 rupees
-rations: 3200 rupees
Annual Christmas Party hosted by tech company PMAM
-tempo truck rental to transport 36 children/3 adults to the party hosted by the tech office PMAM: 600 rupees
-gifts for Navia, Gilaria - PMAM needed two more gifts so we had to purchase from Dev Stationary: 398 rupees
-Bombay Sweet Shop (gift for Prasad PMAM company for hosting Christmas party for 36 children): 1490 rupees
-purchased gift (Dev Stationary) for Naeem (PMAM was short his gift): 600 rupees
-(Compass box, work book, clip board, pastels, pencils, chocolate, sketchbook)
-chocolate bar: 90 rupees
Medical (doctor/hospital fees/medicine)
Sarvodaya Hospital/patient: Meera Babu Shevale
-eye evaluation: 350 rupees
-eye evaluation/medical tests for cataract surgery: 1310 rupees
-eye evaluation/ecg test: 347 rupees
-ecg charges: 300 rupees
-medical tests: 1310 rupees
-A-scan test: 500 rupees
-cataract operation (both eyes): 15,270 rupees
-Adarsh Medical Stores/medicine: 2000 rupees
Patient: Vaseema Shaikh
-medicine: Pills&More 208.06
-Wellness Forever: 3297.45 rupees
Dr. EYE Institute/patient: Mohd Yunus
-retinal evaluation: 300 rupees
-Anjali Diagnostic Centre/medical tests for cataract surgery: 1840 rupees
-Dr Pallavi Shah/eye smear: 300 rupees
-Amdrishti Chemist/medicine: 926 rupees
-blood Test from laneway Dr: 30 rupees
-cataract operation/Eye Institute: 10,600 rupees
-cataract operation/Eye Institute: 10,600 rupees
-Amdrishti Chemist/medicine: 47 rupees
-Varsha Medical (eye drops) 175 rupees
Wellness Forever/Asthma medicine/inhalers
-Aagya Bind: 935.96 rupees
Framecart (Ghatkopar)
-Rani Gagan Singh/prescription glasses: 1700 rupees
Annual visit by students from Saint Ignatius' College Riverview, Sydney, Australia
Picnic at Juhu Beach, Mumbai
Our costs (transportation/snacks/water/toys):
-Juhu Beach Parking/receipt #09770/bus parking for 8 hours: 440 rupees
-bus Toll highway: 210/210/210 rupees
-water 20 small bottles: 400 rupees
-biscuits: 270 rupees
-oranges: 5 kilo/1600 rupees
-frisbee x 4: 438 rupees
-badminton sets: 1000 rupees
-bus driver: food/snack/ 50 rupees
Annual Waterpark Picnic
Anand Sagar Waterpark
-entry: 40 children/adults: 350 rupees each/14,000 rupees
-bus: 9000 plus 200 rupees tip for driver
-highway Toll x 2: 300 rupees
-biryani: 5000 rupees
-gola (crushed ice treat)/34 x 20 rupees: 680 rupees
-samosas breakfast/46 samosas: 700 rupees
-bottled water 24 large: 480 rupees
-cookies: 450 rupees
Visit to Noorsaba's village in Sakri East/Darbhanga, Bihar
-lunch (6 people) at Roti Shoti Darbhanga: 1650 rupees (no receipt)
-Reliance Retail Darbhanga/Toys for the children (cousins): 525 rupees
-play park admission: 30 rupees
-Green Energy Books House/Gift for Noorsaba/note book/pens: 220 rupees
-dinner at roadside dhaba (Danal Dhaba): 7 people (included driver): 1481 rupees
-car and driver: Raghu Sahni (2 days @ 3000 per day): 6000 rupees
-driver tip on first day: 300 rupees
Total amount spent from November 2024 to June 2025: 402,804 rupees (CAD $7323)
The exchange rate was 50-55 rupees to the Canadian dollar at the time of purchases.
For up to date information please check our instagram/facebook pages where we post photos/stories a few times a month. The children are back in school after their break (April/May) and Indu will be paying school fees and interviewing new cases as they come up.
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